Rantings of a delusional princess...

Top 10 Things That Could Get You on the Local 11 o'clock News

2011-04-14T00:59:00.004-04:00

10. Hang dehydrated apples, shaped like little shrunken heads, from your tree in the front yard.
9. Teach your dog how to roller blade in a crowded park.
8. Dress up like a bat and hang upside down in your neighbor's tree.
7. Learn how to yodel the Star Spangled Banner while drinking a glass of water.
6. Fish in your underwear at the local State park.
5. Run through the neighborhood naked throwing Skittles at passers by while you scream, "Taste the Rainbow!"
4. Stand in a fountain and yell, "Help! My fish is drowning!"
3. Ride a unicycle to work.
2. Dress up in a prison jumpsuit, stand at a busy corner and ask people for directions to the nearest Correctional facility.
1. Have children.

Just One More Pile of Dog Shit...

2011-03-28T17:28:00.002-04:00

I think I'm just one more pile of dog shit from a breakdown. Yep, you heard it first from me, right here. Just thought I'd let you all know.

Uneasy feeling....

2011-03-28T16:50:00.003-04:00

I've spent most of the last few days in a sense of uneasiness. Try as I may, it won't go away. This feeling has stayed with me the better part of a year, rearing it's head off and on. It consumes my head and my being until I can't function. Which is where I am now.

I have to interact with my kids and my mood and preoccupation gets in the way. It gets in the way of my marriage. It pushes it's way into work and after school activities and creates a cloud that follows me around, casting doubt and shadows in places they shouldn't be. Still, others with whom I choose to interact with decide that they are too busy, angry, sad or uneasy to interact with me back causing more uneasiness and confusion.

So, I sit in a an emotional hole. My anger builds. My patience shortens.

For now....

2011-02-07T11:34:00.003-05:00

Today has started out dark and dreary... both in weather and with my emotional state. The last couple of days have been difficult for me for many reasons and I have been worn thin.

I wonder what the future holds for me as I try to get my head around many things that are happening in my life. For now, my crazy schedule, due to the plethora of kid activities, has me hopping. I wish I could say that the activities keep my mind from wandering to places it shouldn't go, but, they don't.

I need something. I don't know what. This is a problem.

I have a list of things I want to do. No resources to really do them right. I have a list of things that I am unhappy with or about. Most of the time, I don't have the energy to face them, let alone figure out a way to conquer or change them.

For now, I go to work, I come home and I do the best I can with what I have to work with. For now, this will have to be enough.

Little Moments

2011-01-26T11:41:00.003-05:00

John: "Mrs. Jones, do you like children?"
Mrs. Jones: "Why, of course, John."
John: "Then why do you say mean things to them all the time."

Text books for learning, $300.
Salary for teacher, $52,000.
Teacher being busted about her attitude by a five year old, PRICELESS.

2010-11-10T09:57:00.003-05:00

As I was re-reading my blog entries for 2010 a couple things dawned on me (well, hit me in the face, actually). 1. They were all regarding a certain set of events that have been happening in my life 2. They were very negative and painful.

During a meeting with our therapist a week and a half ago, he asked me if I viewed myself as a victim. I had immediately answered, "No, I don't think so." and moved along in the session. But, after I got home, and started taking a really good look at myself, I realized that, indeed, I did view myself this way. This disturbed me a great deal and, frankly, pissed me off as well! I DID NOT want to be a victim! How could I think this way? It was at that point, that I decided I was the only one holding myself back from being happy. It wasn't anyone else that was too blame. Yes, other individuals didn't help my happiness, but, they weren't preventing it.

This realization (and some well prescribed drugs) has helped me make a choice. I no longer want to be sad. It's exhausting and debilitating. I WANT to be happy! So, I've been trying to make the conscious choice each day to be happy. This isn't always easy but it's less draining that being sad.

Now, some make say that my medication is just 'fake happy' in a bottle. I don't believe that. My medicine helps me to weed out the irrational thoughts that pop into my head just when the rational thoughts decide to do something. It gives me a calm that is needed to analyze my thoughts, feelings and environment is such a way as to turn them into happiness for me in some form or fashion.

So, no victim, want happiness and huzzah for medication.

Seems to be my new mantra for November.

All About Me

2010-11-04T10:31:00.002-04:00

I've done a lot of soul-searching in the last several days. Some has been what I've expected and some, frankly, has surprised me. No matter, really, the important part is that I've been doing it.

No one person I know likes to take a long, hard look at themselves and analyze what they see. (It can be scarey and sometimes, down right mind-blowing!) To see one's flaws, failures, hopes, dreams, and accomplishments takes a large amount of emotional energy. It also takes quite a bit of time alone and writing (at least in my case).

So, what have I seen in myself, you may ask? I see a woman who loves her husband more than anything in the world (minus her children, of course). I see a woman who loves her children and would do anything she could possibly do to give them a safe, happy home in which they can thrive. I see a passionate person - one who, if she believes in something strongly enough, will go to the ends of the Earth to support it, help it, get it or love it. I see someone who loves animals. I see someone who likes to have friends and loves to talk (okay, no laughing or rolling eyes here). I see someone mildly attractive who doesn't always like how she looks but is willing to accept it (at least for the moment). I see a woman whose husband loves her and their children, who is willing to do anything he can to make them happy and safe, who works harder than any man I know to better his environment and himself and who hates to pick up cat puke off the floor. I also see a woman who has endured much emotional pain in her life. I see a woman who lost her mother to breast cancer and is terrified that the same thing will happen to her. I also see a woman who does not easily trust others and doesn't like to get 'too' close for fear of being hurt. I see someone who is naive, who is giving (sometimes to a fault), who usually thinks that there is a good side to everyone and who needs a thicker skin. I've also seen a woman who can be negative, controlling and stubborn.

So now what? What to do with all this information I've discovered about myself. My hope is that I will use it, reflect on it, grow it, fix it, change it and share it with and for those I love. The first person being myself.

I know that this is not the most profound of posts. I know that my writing is average at best. So what? I wasn't going for profound and I'm happy with what writing I can do. I need to be happy, or at least accepting, of all the things (and more) in the list above. To be frank, I need to be happy with me.

It's a long road. It's a hard road. It's a road I've traveled before and turned off of. It's road, however, that I must travel over and over again. The destination is important, of course; however, it's how we get there that means the most, ignites the soul, provides wisdom and understanding and makes it easier to get to the destination in the first place.

Will I ever get to my destination? Do I even know what my destination is? I see it as a likable me. One that I am happy with and enjoy sharing. One that is trusting, open and respectful. One that accepts people for who they are and what they can give... even if that is nothing at all.

It's a long trip, but I have my destination in mind, a vehicle in which to travel, a well-traveled road on which to ride and supporters on the sidelines cheering me on. It's time to pack my bags.

Why now? Why trust?

2010-10-22T09:57:00.004-04:00

Lately, I've been pondering why now a whole set of events that happened more than nine years ago has come back to haunt my days, nights and dreams. I'd thought that I'd dealt with the events at that moment in time and had moved on, claiming victory over my demons.

Alas, I guess I was wrong.

The events in question were traumatic, heart-wrenching and shook me to the very core of who I was back then. I'd never thought that these events could happen to me and when they did, I was sadly unprepared for my reactions. However, months of therapy and talking to clergy seemed to help and I moved on; or so I told myself. Unfortunately, a current friendship situation has brought these events back into the limelight, for what ever reason, and, once again, I am as unprepared as I was those many years ago.

I keep telling myself that events that are happening currently aren't exactly like the events of long ago. I also tell myself that individuals involved in these current events wouldn't do anything to hurt anyone and are intelligent enough to operate in an honest and upstanding manner. Why would they operate in any other way? That, unfortunately, is the tough question and one only these individuals can answer for themselves or anyone else. Hell, I, or anyone else for that matter, can't say that they are or aren't operating in anything but an upstanding manner! So... the real question is... To trust or not to trust.

Why trust?

Trust is an interesting thing. You can't see it, yet it is used everyday by everyone on the planet in some form or fashion. We trust that our alarm clock will ring at the time we tell it to. We trust that the sun will rise every day no matter what. We trust that the other people driving on the road are fully capable of doing so. We trust that our boss and co-workers will treat us fairly and respectfully. We trust our children to make good decisions when they are out of our eyesight and in the care of other individuals. We trust that our family and friends won't do anything to hurt us or the relationships that we entered into them with so lovingly and with great joy. We even trust any number of restaurants that the food they are serving is fresh and fit to eat. We trust because we have to... because we need to. It's part of our nature and part of how we interact with others. It's a necessary thing.

What happens when that trust is broken?

This is where the waters get murky. When trust is broken it can shake an individual to the core... like it did with me so very long ago. It makes trusting even harder the next time, and doesn't only affect the one who broke the trust but anyone that the person has to trust in the same situation in the future. Let's face it, trust, once broken, is hard to regain and even harder, it seems, to give. The saying, 'Once Bittten, Twice Shy' describes any mistrust situation perfectly. Trusting again, after being burned, takes a huge output of emotion and endless courage. A person has to go to their very core to determine if (1) they can forgive and (2) if they can ever forget. Sometimes, it can be a 'deal breaker'. At other times, it's a blip on a screen.

Demons. Can they be healed?

Mistrust breeds demons. Demons that steal your sleep and haunt you during your waking hours. They whisper in your ear and pop up in places that you least expect them. These demons are hard to slay and even harder to prevent from being born at all. I know this only because I have personally lived this once before, and now for whatever reason, am living it once again. Can these demons be healed? Does time really heal all wounds... even the emotional ones?

I'm hoping the answer to these questions is yes. After all, I have a life to live and to share with others.

Thinking

2010-10-20T10:30:00.002-04:00

There I go, thinking again.

Thinking always gets me into trouble. It doesn't matter if it's thinking because I'm bored, thinking for work, thinking because I worry, thinking because I'm paranoid, thinking because I wonder or thinking about thinking; I ALWAYS get myself in trouble.

This morning, I was thinking about how well things were going today. Then I received a letter... and my thinking turned to hurt, frustration and mental exhaustion. I moved on to a trip to the vet to pick up more medicine for our ailing guinea pig, and began thinking again. I thought of how much money I'd spent on something so small and what I would do if I, indeed, needed to spend even more money. My thinking then turned to financial worry.

In between all the above thinking, I thought of how much housework I had to do at home and how messy things are. My thinking turned to embarrassment and of being overwhelmed. I moved on to many other things as I thought and thought and thought. Most of them either depressing me or overwhelming me in the end.

See, I told you thinking gets me in trouble.

So, how do I stop thinking, exactly? I've tied to empty my mind while meditating. I continually try and write my thoughts on paper to make room for more in my head. It seems to be a never ending process in which I am constantly behind.

Which led me to more thinking....

Just When....

2010-05-16T15:11:00.003-04:00

Just when I think I have things figured out and I go reading other folks blogs, I find things were not as I believed and I start doubting, fretting and worrying.

Paranoia is a dangerous bed fellow. It creeps into your soul and never seems to let go. Things that seemed crystal clear begin to cloud and the landscape takes on a shape that is unfamiliar and frightening. This landscape is hard to negotiate and excruciatingly painful. It swallows energy and goodness at an alarming rate, causing all in its path to become disillusioned and confused. It is no way to walk through life.

My choices are few. Continue on this path at great detriment to myself and others or to turn the other cheek... play cheerful and stupid and pray. PRAY that the paranoia was and is only paranoia and not the early emotional warning that I think/thought it was.

This, is the conundrum. The question. The fight.

Is it all worth it? Yes, is my immediate thought. However, some days, I wonder if I'm right.

A False Ray of Sunshine

2010-05-05T17:35:00.003-04:00

Today started out with me sleeping through my alarm. It moved on to me not being able to find the shirt that I 'really' wanted to wear, forcing me to pick something that made me overly warm most of the day. Things moved along (boys got out the door, daughter made it to the bus stop and I made it (finally) to work) and before long I was done with my work day and sat in my car feeling warm (think back to the shirt above) and disillusioned.

I moved on through my early afternoon by answering a text message wanting to know if a daily walk was still on (provided God didn't rain on our parade) and then headed out to get a soda before coming home and changing into my tennis shoes (think daily walk above). A 30 minute or so walk, much talk back and forth, some crying (on my part) and a dash to the middle school to pick up my oldest son after retrieving my middle son and daughter at the bus stop finished off the better part of the middle to late afternoon. Now, I'm just feeling confused, tired, overwhelmed, sad, a bit angry and a multitude of other emotions that I just can't seem to put my finger on.

My evening will include some form of dinner that I will need to think up, my oldest daughter coming home from her track meet and me trying to negotiate the evening without making anyone cry, get mad, go hungry or just plain fall apart in the process. I believe there is also supposed to be a trip to the music store to pick up my middle son's repaired viola.

I'm mildly numb emotionally. My head hurts as well as my heart. I've been fighting an emotional black hole for many days that seems to be leaving me exhausted and, at this point, seems to have no end in sight.

Well. Aren't I a ray of sunshine?

The Green Monster in the Room

2010-05-04T22:20:00.003-04:00

Many moons ago, my marriage was a mess... not a small mess... not even a medium mess... a huge, crazy, chaotic, oh-my-gosh-I-need-a-divorce kind of mess. With the help of our minister, friends, family (sort of) and therapy we managed to regroup and carry on and have been able to stay married now for 15 years.

Unfortunately, the baggage that I thought had been unpacked and put away these many moons ago, wasn't. I truly believe that I knew this, inherently, somehow but just never paid much attention. I was distracted by life and conveniently believed that everything was better... even when... lurking in the darkness was the baggage ready to burst at the seams.

And burst it has.

My husband has chosen a good friend of mine to be friends with. They, unlike he and I (and even she and I), have many things in common: music, books, writing, philosophy and crystals. Yep, crystals. I have found myself becoming jealous of this new found friendship, even though she and I are friends. I now long for the "connection" (as my husband calls it - and that terminology doesn't make me feel ANY better by the way) that they have. I long for it to the point that I have become obsessed and jealous.

Now, I realize that jealousy is the green monster in the room. I know, logically, that jealousy will not help my already unsteady marriage become more balanced and calm. I know the green faced monster may be my undoing... but, yet, I wallow in self-pity and wonder to myself why me? Why again? Why now? Just... why?

Logically, my head says I'm irrational. Emotionally, I'm in pain... wanting to believe that everything is okay, while feeling that something is terribly wrong. What I want is for the world to leave me, my husband and my marriage alone... to let us repair, regroup and reconnect and let us take as long as we need WITHOUT throwing in stumbling blocks along the way.

However, I fear that the world does not have that in store for me; and all the crystals in the universe can't help slow the train that has left the station, destined for a place that I told myself I would never visit again.

I pray to be numb before we come to a screeching halt in the abyss, lest I lose more than my marriage in trip.

Dogs Are Family Too

2009-06-19T03:16:00.004-04:00

I sit here in the wee hours of the morning thinking about my dogs. Yep, you heard me right, my dogs.

My handsome spouse and I have two canines... one old and one almost middle-aged (at least in dog years). The old one, Baron, is a lab/pitbull mix. He's buff in color (considered yellow on the days he does something wrong and gold on the days he doesn't) with a graying muzzle, cloudy eyes and arthritic hips. The middle-aged one, Delilah, is a full bred Beagle. She's tri-color with perky ears, bright brown eyes, a wagging tail and a snout that could lead her to Wyoming in a heart-beat if she ever got out of the yard unnoticed. Both our fuzzy children are equally important, equally loved and a part of our wonderful family.

However... Our darling Baron, who will turn fifteen on July 5th, has become a bit of work. He currently has better drugs than either my husband or I put together; all in the name of helping his arthritic joints do things they can't any more. He has a hard time walking, let alone going down our steps to enter the backyard to do his business. Many times, our children will yell from the yard, doorway, livingroom, diningroom etc that the dog has fallen and needs help. In zooms either myself or my husband and we pick up the dog's rear, depositing him, once again, on his feet only to watch as he hobbles off to do what it is he wanted to do; wondering if we should go back to what we were doing or follow him... in case he falls again.

My point, if there is one, in all this banter is that no one ever knows when it's 'that time'. 'That time' meaning the point at which a pet owner has to make the decision of whether their beloved family member is suffering and needs to be euthanized. I had to make a decision, such as this one, with our cat Tiberius in the Fall of '07. It wasn't a pretty situation and it was a bit more cut and dried than the one I am describing above. The poor kitty wasn't eating and was beyond help (as our vet so kindly put it). So, I made the call to put kitty out of his misery. I told the kids of my decision through tears and grit teeth and watched as, later on that evening, the vet put my cat to sleep in my arms. It was one of the hardest things I had ever had to do. Until my mom. I also had to make a similar decision (this time with my father by my side) when my mom began to lose her battle with Stage IV breast cancer in May of '08. Now, I know you're thinking... "How the hell can you compare your dog to your mom?!" Of course mom is more important and the decision was more involved, but it was still relatively the same.

However, is my dog any less loved than my mother? No.

What also complicates the matter is my husband and Baron are attached. They are attached emotionally as any dog and human can get. My husband grunts and woofs to the dog as they sit on the couch with one another and Baron grunts and woofs back. I watch as Lincoln cleans up after the dog, patting him on the head when he's done; takes the dog outside to sit in the yard while he works in the garage; hoists his rear end up, once more, when he's fallen; and lovingly calls him a golden dog (even when he's really been more yellow).

When is it 'that time' for my fifteen year old dog? I don't really know the answer. But, I do know that when it comes, I'll do my best to be there for my family, especially my husband. In the meantime, I'll hoist, pick up and clean.

I mean, dogs are family too.

How Hard Can it Be... Being a Mom?

2008-07-04T00:17:00.004-04:00

How hard can it be... being a mom?

A very interesting question, and one that I asked myself over and over and over and OVER again when I was younger. My mom did it. Her mom did it. Her mom did it. And, you guessed it, HER mom did it. So, I asked myself as I looked at the little pink double line on the pregnancy test almost 10 years ago, "How are can it be... being a mom?"

Well...

It's hard to be a mom when you have no instructions. I mean, let's face it. You go to the hospital, you get to experience an enormous amount of pain, they keep you two days to make sure you aren't going to die and then the hospital staff sends you home with a newborn. YOUR newborn. Good gracious people! What are you thinking?

It's hard to be a mom when you HAVE instructions. 'What to Expect When Your Expecting', 'The First 12 Months', 'The Toddler Years'... Ok, I don't need BOOKS people, I need HELP! H - E - L - P !

It's hard to be a mom when the first word your child says is, "Da da." WHAT!? *Goes back to birth scenario in bullet #1*

It's hard to be a mom when your child walks for the first time. We've all been there. Well, just about all of us. Your child takes that first step and TA DA; they're mobile. Yep. Mobile. Nothing like the Fear of God hitting you right then and there.

It's hard to be a mom when they're sick. Whining, coughing, wheezing, sneezing, sniffling, gagging, hurling, sweating, crying, writhing and aching kind of sick. I'll bet I've been thrown up on more than you have.

It's hard to be a mom when they're bored. "Mommy, I'm bored." "I know." "But, I'm BORED." "I know." "But...." *sigh* "Wanna go for ice cream?"

It's hard when the go to school for the first time. I was a mess. Yep, a mess. Here was my little Anthony with a back pack bigger than he was, heading off to school with the 'big kids'. My heart was in my throat and my stomach was churning. And guess what? Brendan? Same feelings. Sophia? She's heading to Kindergarten in the fall. *I think I may hurl.*

It's hard to be a mom when your kids ride their bikes to a friends house, ALONE, for the first time. "Call me when you get there." "Right." "Remember, don't talk to strangers." "Right." "What happens if a stranger talks to you?" "Don't talk to them." "What else?" *pause* "Keep riding?" "Right. What if he/she follows you?" "Keep riding... only faster?" "Right. What if --" "Never mind, Mom, I think I'll stay home."

It's hard to be a mom when your daughter paints her toenails... with a sharpie. *Sigh. Need I say more?*

So... you can sort of get my drift here. No one TOLD me that it would be this hard. No one explained the rules.

Of course, no one COULD tell me it would be this hard. No one COULD explain the rules.

Then again, no one could imagine how much love I have for my children each and every day they're around.

They're my babies.

MAD AS HELL AND NO ONE TO BITCH TO

2007-07-02T00:46:00.000-04:00

How's THAT for a title?! Can you tell it's been one of those evenings where everything that you wanted to go right just.... didn't?

Wanted to spend more time with the kids before they went to bed... didn't.
Wanted to do more laundry and get caught up... didn't.
Wanted to clean the kitchen... didn't.
Wanted to go to the IKEA store... didn't.
Wanted to go to Meijer's... didn't.
Wanted to pick up the living room... didn't.
Wanted to clean out the truck and vacuum... didn't.
Wanted (well, HAD) to clean out the cat box... didn't.
Wanted to clean up after dinner... didn't.
Wanted to take out the garbage... didn't.
Wanted to be in a better mood... won't.
Wanted to want to... don't.
Wanted to be told it will all be better in the morning... wasn't.
Wanted to bitch to a live person... can't.
Wanted to have a good day... didn't.

So, now that I've filled up the screen with, "Woe is me, I gotta poopy diaper" attitude I'll say good-bye and good night in hopes that tomorrow will be better than today.

We Are Family

2007-07-01T01:48:00.000-04:00

So, here we are (from left to right) Lincoln, Brendan, Anthony, Me and Sophia.

The picture was taken at our church's 100th anniversary luncheon in early June.

Ten Ways to Give Your Cat A Nervous Breakdown

2007-07-01T01:23:00.000-04:00

10. Remove all clothing from flat surfaces so that they have to sleep in their cat bed.
9. Yell, "Here Kitty, Kitty!" while standing next to the tub as it's filling full of water.
8. Buy a rottweiller.
7. Let six four year olds in the house and tell them the cat loves to play.
6. Apply collar and leash to their neck and yell, "Sit Ooboo, Sit!"
5. Tape a dog barking and replay it on a taperecorder in the house.
4. Buy a laser pointer and let the cat chase the red 'dot' on the floor.
3. Leave open boxes and paperbags all over your house.
2. Buy babydoll dress up clothes and give them to your four year old daughter.
1. Accidentally shut your cat in the dryer and turn it to the fluff cycle.

Muscle Relaxers and a Mother of Three

2007-06-28T01:13:00.000-04:00

Now, you're probably saying, "Now THERE'S an interesting title." Or, your at least thinking that the muscle relaxer part sounds like fun.

Muscle relaxers are what my doctor prescribed the other day when I went in to have several things checked out. First, my cholesterol. TOTALLY unrelated to the muscle relaxers but on the list none the less. Second, check to see if there are any lipids (what the heck is a lipid) or some other such arthritic tags in my blood. (I've been having problems with the joints in my hands and shoulders.) Third, check on why I can't get to sleep and why I keep waking up with headaches.

Muscle relaxers. And this is why I paid $15 in a copay. I could get the same affect with a glass of red wine each night and have more fun.

Can You Cheat On Your Dog?

2007-06-23T00:33:00.000-04:00

I took a drive over to Ryan and Tom's house tonight. They're getting ready for a yard sale tomorrow and I've finally relinquished my hold on my kids baby clothes long enough to sell them to someone else. So, I dropped off four boxes and two garbage bags of clothes and a six-foot long table to their house around 9:00pm.

Now, Ryan and Tom have this black lab named Compo. He's a drooling, panting, crotch-sniffing ball of tail-wagging fur. You can't help but notice him while you're at the house and he won't leave you alone until he's wiped drool and hair all over your clean clothes. It's like being molested by a really short man in a black fur coat. The problem is when I got home... my beagle, Delilah, was sniffing the hell out of me and giving me this look like, "How COULD you?"

It had just then occurred to me, "Can you cheat on your dog?" I mean, I didn't WANT to cheat on my dog. This other dog just came to me and started molesting me. Does that count? It was unwanted attention from another canine.

I feel so dirty.

Second Shelf From the Top... WAAAAAYYYY In the Back

2007-06-18T20:52:00.000-04:00

Ok... so these were my words, slowly said at least three times, to my eight year old after he inquired on whether we had any microwave popcorn.

First time... "Mommy? Do we have any popcorn?" My response: "Yes, second shelf from the top, way in the back."

(He looks on the first shelf under the top cupboard.)

Second time... "SECOND shelf, way in the back, Anthony."

(He looks on the second shelf from the bottom.)

Third time... "S-e-c-o-n-d s-h-e-l-f from the TOP, waaaaayyyy in the back, honey."

His response after finally locating said popcorn, "Oh, thanks."

He's such a cute boy. Reddish-brown, curly hair (the girl-hair he got from his mom - me), stick thin like his dad and smart as a whip (although you might be saying, "Yeah... and what about this popcorn episode?"). But, when it comes to our pantry... the little guy just gets way too confused.

"Why?" you ask in a disinterested voice as you yawn over this entry.

Well, our pantry in done in a weird fashion and one never knows whether the top cupboard is the first shelf or not... (easier to show someone than explain.). AT ANY RATE... (now I'm bored)....

The popcorn is on the second shelf from the top of the second cupboard, waaaaaaay in the back.

Hitchhiker's Thumb

2007-05-04T01:39:00.000-04:00

Sooooo.... I shut my thumb in my neighbor's screen door.

Ouch!

Yep, I had my hand in the door frame of the front door and the wind caught the door and WHAM! the tip of my thumb got peeled right back! It hurt like... like... like the tip of my thumb got peeled back. *sigh*

One trip to St. Joseph Mercy's emergency room later and the following happened:

1. Got to read yesterday's front page of the Oakland Press.
2. Met up with Kyle Cameron, a friend of ours (he stood up in our wedding) that we haven't seen in 12 years. He is now working at St. Joseph's as a Medical Technician.
3. Got a tetanus shot. *frowns*
4. Soaked my thumb in Betadine *frowns more because of the stinging feeling*
5. Got thumb bandaged.
6. Won sympathy from my 18, 8, 7 and 4 year old kids.
7. Took two tylenol to ease the throbbing in my thumb.
8. Looks forward to the throbbing in my arm (where I got the tetanus shot) in the morning.

Guess I won't be doing any hardcore gardening for a while.

Moral of the Story: Keep your thumb out of places it doesn't belong.

FOX cancels DRIVE

2007-04-28T02:12:00.000-04:00

And... here I thought we had a hit.

Is it just me or are the execs at FOX totally missing the point of people watching TV? I watch for enjoyment and a chance at seeing my favorite actors or actresses do what they do best. I watch because my real life doesn't always meet my expectations and I need a bit of a boost. I watch because I can.

How can someone say that a show is a dud when they haven't even given the damn thing a chance?!

All the more reason to boycott the crappy TV network (FOX if you haven't already guessed) unless Mr. Fillion comes out with another show the network wants to cancel.

I tell ya... I've HAD it with these nimrods that don't know good TV from a flippin' hole in the ground.

Damn those execs, damn those folks who don't watch DRIVE, damn, damn, damn....

Here I Go Thinking Again...

2007-03-27T00:44:00.000-04:00

So, I'm thinking....

That's usually my first mistake. Thinking that I can think without a license. Thinking gets folks like me in trouble. We plan things, weigh things over, initiate ideas and pretend we're cool and all the while we wreak havoc on the world and leave terror in our wake.

See... it's thinking about thinking that's got me into this mess.

Top Ten Uses for Green Bean Casserole

2006-11-25T02:12:00.000-05:00

10. Use as part of neighbor kids' club initiation. Tell prospective club members it's ground squirrel.
9. Use as paste for building toothpick houses
8. Use for practical jokes. Spoon healthy amount of beans into paper lunch sack. Set on enemy's porch, light bag, ring doorbell... RUN!
7. Makes great grout when re-tiling bathroom floor. (Note: Make sure bathroom decor matches green shade of beans.)
6. Serves as excellent dog food in a pinch.
5. Use as wallpaper stripper. Consistency makes application easy.
4. Great way to keep children quiet during Thanksgiving Dinner. Lips stick together because of the cream of mushroom soup.
3. Acts as a substitute for playdough, and it's easier to get out of carpets.
2. Keeps grandma busy during the holidays and out of the casinos.
1. Use as alternative to green, acidsplit when filming 'Slither 2'.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

2006-10-31T16:54:00.000-05:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Ok, today is the day where everyone (in the US at least) is allowed to dress up as someone or something different and act crazy, obtain free candy and scare the begeezes out of little kids without fear of reprisal.

I, personally, opted for the non-scarey costume of a Renaissance Wench this morning in my 1st grader's classroom. This past Sunday evening and Monday morning I was a happy pumpkin.

My boys decided on Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. My daughter fascillated from ballerina, to fairy, to princess, to dragon, to Barbie and, finally, back to dragon again. *It's a woman's right to change her mind... even if it DOES make her mother gray in the process*

My husband decided to dress up as a dad (how original). Our exchange student decided on a teenager with a broken leg (what is UP with the older men in the family?).

Trick or Treating starts at 6pm at my parents house, ends there at 7pm and picks up again at my in-laws. It's an all-evening event that will tire everyone out and result in TONS of candy that will send the family into a sugar high that will last until Christmas!

So... at this point... I go with the flow and think orange until tomorrow morning wakes us and November begins full throttle.

Pictures soon to follow....

It's SUNDAY... Anyone see monkeys near me?

2006-10-15T10:44:00.000-04:00

So... it's Sunday. SUNDAY. And, once again I haven't TOUCHED my homework for my Spanish class.

"So?" you say.

Sooooooo, I have an exam tomorrow over the next chapter; sixty some verbs to conjugate, a bucket-load of vocabulary words and sentence structure to remember and I HAVEN'T STUDIED! Now, normally, having already received a Bachelor of Science degree several years prior to this I would say, "Bleh," and move on. But, THIS class I want to pass with flying colors.

But, it's SUNDAY! *sigh*

Of course, today we're headed out to lunch with my parents, then out to the Franklin Cider Mill with Ryan, Tom, Ryan's mom and her two exchange students (see Ryan's blog, appropriately entitled http://rantingsofanewzealandwannabe.blogspot.com) and then dinner with said group somewhere around 6'ish. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE doing things with them and I'm the one who invited everyone down for dinner. So, that really isn't the issue.

The issue is that it's SUNDAY, for Christmas sake and I have a mountain of homework the size of Mexico! (Had to put that in there for Santos' sake.)

Okay... focus, focus, focus.

Maybe this will all work out in the end. Maybe I'll have time to get things done. Maybe I can do my lab work tomorrow morning while everyone is in school. Maybe I'll get time to study at school before the test. Maybe I'll do REALLY well on the test and this post will all be for naught...

... And maybe monkeys will fly out of my butt.

Your Brain is a Terrible Thing to Lose

2006-10-14T19:42:00.000-04:00

So... they say your mind is the first thing to go. Apparently, my mind has already left and found some other unsuspecting human to reside in leaving me entirely on my own... literally.

Another birthday party that one of my sons were supposed to attend slipped my mind again today. The mom, bless her heart, called me on my cell and asked where Anthony was. *phew* Luckily Kroger is only a mile and a half from Zap Zone where the party was being held for several fiesty 8 year old boys.

Last week, it was the 'birthday party of the year' that Brendan missed. His friend Ben had invited him and it totally slipped my mind. *sigh* Brendan will need years of therapy at 29 to get over THAT one.

What's next? My anniversary? My OWN birthday? Do I need more Ginko Biloba in my life? Less stress? More help? SEVERAL calendars that flash neon in my house and in the truck? WHAT will help me remember?

I can't seem to recall.

Holy Orthopedists, Batman!

2006-10-12T16:57:00.000-04:00

So, most of September was a blur. Somewhere between my usual routine of taking my kids to school and practices, fixing dinner, scheduling doctors appointments and studying for my Spanish class my husband managed to break his right arm and my 'exchange' son, Santos, managed to break his lower left leg.

Now, I KNOW you're thinking, "What the...?" or "Huh?" or "So?" However, for those who would like the details, please see below.

Ok, first the husband. For sake of space, he was riding his bicycle (mountain bike) one evening around 8:30pm downtown and got cut off by a car as he was about to cross the street. He locked up the front breaks, flipped over the handlebars and came down squarely on both hands; he broke the radius bone in his right arm and jammed the wrist and elbow of the other arm.

Second, Santos. HE was tackled playing football for his highschool JV team and got his leg broke. *sigh* Welcome to the 'American experience' and our medical system. Needless to say, he's ok but in a cast for the next 6 to 8 weeks. *Guess we'll have to turn those crutches into skis.*

At any rate, my life is about as complicated as I can take. I love my family, biological and not, but I need a frickin' break. Anyone got any ideas?

9/11 and Sherry Ann Bordeaux

2006-09-11T09:50:00.000-04:00

Today is a day that many will not soon forget.

I was still working full time on September 11, 2001 and in the middle of my daily commute to Troy, MI. I had the radio on, flipping channels as I usually do. This day, I happened to decide on the local talk radio station. What I heard as I pulled in the parking lot of my seven story office building shocked me.

The World Trade Center had been hit by not one, but two airplanes... two commercial airliners packed with travelers of all races, creeds, colors, ages and beliefs. The World Trade Center buildings... 110 floors each, filled to the brim with people starting their day were burning. Two gaping holes were visible mid-way up and smoke was pouring from each. My heart sank.

I no sooner got into the office when my husband called me and asked if I heard the news.

"Yes, Honey... I have," I said.

"Nancy... there were people on those planes... in those buildings," he whispered, barely able to speak.

"I know, Honey... I know," I replied in the same whisper. I didn't know what to say. I didn't really know what to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SHERRY ANN BORDEAUX was born and raised in Jersey City, New Jersey. She was a member of the honor society and the basketball and bowling teams in high school. Her sister, Cynthia Lewis remembers her as someone who never missed a day of school. "She was a straight-A student." After highschool, Sherry graduated from St. Peter's College in Jersey City and began working as an accountant for Fiduciary Trust. She was in her office on the 90th floor of Tower Two when the second hijacked passenger jet hit the floors below. She had left a phone message after the first jet hit the other tower.

"She called us at 8:48 and said, 'There's been an explosion, I'll call you later,'" Lewis said. "We were home and watching it on TV. We just didn't hear the phone."

Sherry shared a house with her mother, brother, sister and nephews in Jersey City, New Jersey. These days the house is emptier. She is no longer around to make special dishes that she learned from watching "Emeril Live" on the Food Network, or to take her nephews - Marquise Lewis, 10, and Justin Lewis, 3 - out to dinner or the movies.

Now they only have memories of her.

After reading bits of information on Sherry I imagine she was vivacious woman with hopes and dreams just like everyone else in the world. Her family adored her... cherished her. They cling to memories of a summer reunion in 2001 where siblings and cousins and countless other extended family members went to Fayettville, N.C., in July and spent a week together.

I never met Sherry, although I believe I would have liked her from the moment we met. I'll never know her personally... never get the chance. But, what I DO know is that she'll be missed by many. She'll be missed by the world and this world will be a lesser place because Sherry wasn't around to make it just that much brighter. She was only 38 years old.

Today, I ask those that might have known Sherry to post here, on my blog, anything you knew about Sherry. Let those around the world know what a wonderful person was taken from us. Have her memory live on in script for a bit longer.

May all those who were killed on this day five years ago be remembered, celebrated and held in high esteem. God Bless them all.

And the Teachers ARE....

2006-09-04T01:14:00.000-04:00

Ms. Ingoglia for my 3rd grader and Ms. Grunewald for my 1st grader.

The wait has ended...

... Let the learning begin!

Things That Make You Go.... Hmmmmmm

2006-09-04T00:31:00.000-04:00

Ok... so... Arts, Beats and Eats.

For those of you who live in the Detroit Metropolitan area, "Arts, Beats and Eats" doesn't mean some curbside painter wacking people with a stick while eating a corndog. It actually means an honest to goodness 'good time in downtown Pontiac' (if that can actually be had) eating, drinking, buying and riding carnival rides. AB&E (as I will call it henceforth) was our outting for today with the kids (yes, you CAN take kids there).

It's an annual outting, actually. Every Labor Day weekend Linc and I take the kids to AB&E and spend an enormous amount of money eating, riding and buying glow-in-the-dark sticks for the kids. Every year the kids whine because they can't go on anymore rides, their tired, their hungry or they just want to see their parents pull their hair out among 10,000 people in a cramped three-block radius. Every year we either sweat, freeze or get rained on. Every year we go back because we think we know what we did wrong THIS year. *sigh* It's like a study on Pavlov's dog.

However, I must say that THIS year things went mighty well. The weather was cool and breezy and we had enough money to keep the kids satisfied without us going broke in the process. Ah, commercialism. Anyway, by 4pm the kids were beat and getting hungry. Linc stayed downtown to watch some concerts and I came home with the kids, cooked dinner and generally 'hung out' until bedtime.

Now... during that 'hanging out' period....

Did I ever tell you that I'm a closet Star Trek Junkie? *sigh* Probably not. I don't know too many 40-Mother-of-three-closet-star-trek-junkies out there. We're few and far between not to mention embarrassed that we actually know who Jonathan Archer is and can't wait until Paramount Pictures produces another flippin' ST movie (there are 10 you know).

At any rate, my husband (a 33 year old ST junkie) and I run a Star Trek play by email game (now, I KNOW you're thinking... "Did she HAVE to go here?") called Liberty Fleet. The game is fun primarily because I can write a character that is totally unlike myself and lose myself in fantasy land without ending up in an mental institution. The problem, is that in running the game you end up spending a great deal of time working on promoting, editing, and playing the game for FREE. Yes, I said FREE... I do not get paid for my editing of writing submissions (posts), my counseling sessions with young writers who have NO clue where to begin and those few and far between (you KNOW who you are) who can't spell worth a POOP when they write more than three words in a row. However, I enjoy reading the entries to our crazy storylines and sometimes wish that I could actually BE the captain that I write (might be a little hard though, considering I write a man).

HOWEVER, this new storyline, an 'alternate timeline' kind of deal (something from the future gets left in the past so it changes everyones future kinda thing) is bringing out the looneys! Pure evil, I'm telling you! I can't believe some of the stuff that I'm reading... it's bizarre. Torture, killing, maming, sex (rape, bisexuality) and don't forget just plain ole anger.

*SHEESH*

People, people, people. Let's think about this SHALL we? I mean, such angry folk are running around with laptops in hand. *shakes head* It amazes even I. Who knew that such folk walked the earth taking their kindergardeners to school each morning and fixing meatloaf for dinner. Now, to tell the truth that's a bit harsh... a lot of our writers are college age kids that love Star Trek (ST) and love to write stories. I doubt that most even know what meatloaf is, let alone know how to fix it for dinner.

All in all today was a success. Tomorrow is Labor Day which means an annual trip to my in-laws for dinner and visiting. This year it also means that our exchange student has football practice (someone should give that coach a piece of my mind) from 5pm to whenever. *sigh* I'm hoping that whoever thought a practice on Labor Day was necessary, will be locked up by the Labor Day police and the key thrown away.

... things that make you go, hmmmmmm.

Mommy.... Who Is My Teacher?

2006-08-31T00:38:00.000-04:00

Okay... so, I've been asked this question by my 3rd grader and 1st grader every day for the past week now. They wait by the mailbox like little vultures... hoping that letters from their new teachers for this year will drop out and smack them on the face like little fly swatters.

Have the letters come? NO

WHEN does school start? TUESDAY

WHAT is TODAY? WEDNESDAY before TUESDAY

When I asked their elementary school's secretary at the Welcome Back Meeting for employees of the district -- it's nice to be a parent AND an employee -- when the letters were coming she promptly replied that they would be mailed tomorrow. I politely asked if I could find out over the phone early and she even MORE politely told me absolutely not.

NOTE: So, does the security of the nation depend on the information about my kids' teachers for this year? Will terrorists swoop down on my school district if the names are given out over the phone early? I mean, COME ON!!!

So, I think to myself....

TOMORROW!? Are they farking MAD? The THURSDAY before TUESDAY they are sending out letters containing the most important answer to the most important question for BOTH of my children at this time in their little lives?

I ask again... Are they farking MAD??????

*sigh*

Ok... so, now I have to explain that the letters will probably come either Friday or Saturday. My 6 year old will say, "What if they don't?" And I'll answer, "Then we go to school on Tuesday and ask someone." And he'll say, "I'm not going to school unless I know who my teacher is. I mean, HOW will I KNOW what room I'm in? HOW will I KNOW who's in my class?" and the questions will continue until the dye-job that I spent $94 on at the salon is completely gone and my eyes are crossed permanently. At that point my 8 year old will sigh and say something like, "Well, I have a one in three chance that I'll get Mrs. Ellison." and then nothing else will come out of his mouth until Tuesday.

And, I'll think...

... Can we go back to June 17th? Life was much easy then....

Two of the Men In my Life

2006-08-23T00:45:00.000-04:00

Now... here are the cutest two faces I've ever seen... and two of the four men currently in my life (my husband and our exchange son being the other two). This was taken on the spur of the moment when the two of them were goofing around with one another. I couldn't have asked for a better pic.

Ummmmmmmmmm... bridge?

2006-08-20T01:43:00.000-04:00

Ok, so, the kids and I finished reading 'Harry Potter: The Order of the Phoenix' the other night. (I KNOW you're thinking, *Where the HELL has SHE been? That's been out for AGES!*, but I've got a REALLY good reason for being behind the times.

I'm a mom.

P-Sha you say? Well, try doing ANYTHING with three kids under the age of 8 around. Even going to the frikkin bathroom is a momumental activity... so, being caught up with the Harry Potter groupies just hasn't been in my cards. Now, that isn't to say I haven't tried. I've led several evenings of reading using bribery as a key tool to obtain permission to read more than one chapter at a time. I mean, all's fair in reading and war and I want to WIN!

So... this mom thing (even though I digress from Harry and Umbridge at the moment) can really cut into your personal reading time. I mean, I have issues reading the cake box without one of my little darlings yelling, "MOOOOOOMMY!" and me having to divert my attention to the latest catastrophe of the hour. Which usually includes things like, butt wiping, spill containing, TV channel turning, Oobi watching, bug catching, bug smashing, bug funerals, marker closing, wall washing, bath or shower giving, puddle-jumping, toilet unclogging (a whole roll of Dixie Cups will wreak havoc on your plumbing), cricket catching, swing pushing and various other activities that I get called upon to participate in throughout the day.

Of course, don't get me wrong... I LOVE being home with my kids. My husband has offered several times to stay at home and be the Stay-at-Home parent and I've said, "No... that's okay." I'm just stating that my me-time is somewhat limited.

Anyway, back to the book...

All I have to say is that J.K. Rowling is a bit... yeah a BIT disturbed! Who the hell comes up with a quill that when you write with it, the words are written in your own blood from the back of your hand??? *shudders repeatedly* And, this is a KIDS book? What kind of kids...?

*Wait, don't answer that question.*

Let's all face it, this Umbridge woman is SO evil she makes Snape look like Barney (somehow picturing the potions teacher as a large, purple dinosaur makes me giggle). I mean, she's the kind that if she drove a car you'd want it key'd or the tires popped. What would be the equivalent for a broom? The handle gets carved on or the bristles get pulled out?

And Harry... I know he's been manipulated by He-Who-Could-Not-Be-Named at this point but, let's get things straight... THIS woman is as evil as they come (unless you want to count my last semester Spanish professor, Sra. Gifford) and he should have reported her fat butt when things first started. Or AT LEAST told Hermione.... she can solve anything. She's the MacGyver of Hogwarts. Give her a bit of chewing gum and a raffle ticket and she could take on Umbrige with one hand tied behind her back!

Anyway, again I digress....

I just hope that the next book will find someone even MORE gastly to take the place of the portly, google-eyed prof. I need a change of scenery.

(And btw... I KNOW who croaks in that one.)

*sigh*

Say 'YES' to splotches...

2006-08-20T00:49:00.001-04:00

1. Family attends BBQ for ASSE Exchange Students... children play in God knows what kind of outdoor plants and eat goodness knows what kind of food while in attendance.

2. Family returns home tired, full and socially satisfied.

3. Family wakes up on Saturday morning to find 30% of 6 1/2 year old son's body covered in red, raised splotchy patches. Son isn't itching... still wants to go to golf lessons with older brother and grandpa. Parents agree.

4. 6 1/2 year old son comes home later (much more golf savvy) and stays splotch-free all afternoon and early evening after 24 hour dose of Claritin.

5. Mom and Dad drop off children at sitter's for evening of adult-based fun.

6. Mom and Dad pick up children. 6 1/2 year old son has 80% of his body covered in red, raised splotchy patches.

7. Mother calls pediatrician (again), runs out to buy Benadryl while dad gives son Aveeno bath in luke-warm water.

8. Mom comes home, gives son Benadryl, mom and dad put son to bed.

Moral of story... red, raised splotches come to those who wait.

New Addition to the Simoni Family

2006-08-18T14:32:00.000-04:00

Well... this is the easiest way to have a child...

Exchange Student

Yep, Santos, our temporary exchange student will be staying with us for the entire upcoming school year. Linc and I are thrilled. The kids are thrilled. We hope that Santos is thrilled as well.

Now... OMG... I'm the mother of the 17 year old male! *gulp* Someone help!

A Twist on a Favorite

2006-08-13T21:37:00.000-04:00

Now, for all you Harry Potter fans out there... and I KNOW you're out there... ever tried watching the movie in a dubbed over version? Like... Spanish, for instance?

Weeeeeellllllll, gives one a TOTALLY new perspective on having an exchange student and what they go through when they come into this country for a year. HOLY MOLY... I think I might have caught every eighth word and... that's even having seen the movie in English two previous times before! My kids, who didn't seem to care, ate up the movie (we put them to bed before the REALLY scarey parts) and didn't seem to notice a thing. Hehe....

Now if I could only READ the Harry Potter series in Spanish.

Sleep is SO overrated!

2006-08-11T00:40:00.000-04:00

Ok... so.. it's 12:36am on the 11th of August. What the hell now?!

I can't get to sleep. Ok, so... I haven't really TRIED to get to sleep yet, but that's just a small detail in the big picture of things.

*rubs eyes*

I hear the dog... well, the BIG dog (Baron... the one that bit my husband on the arm) snoring a few feet away. HE can get to sleep. I see the OTHER dog (Delilah... the Beagle that keeps my neighbor awake) with her head stuck in between two of the couch pillows. SHE can sleep.

I know the cats can sleep because that's all they do ALL day long. Silly animals really. I mean, why did God create cats? Ok, they're fluffy and furry and rub cat hair on your good pants. They look pretty (crazy colors that once made of friend of mine name one 'Puke' because of the way it looked) and the have that subtle 'meow' noise. Other than that... they eat, they sleep, they shed and they OWN your house. Never again... no kitties, no cats. Nope. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero. ZIP.

My husband can sleep. I can hear his snoring all he way from upstairs. Breathrights! I tell ya... don't EVER run out of those in a house with a snorer.

My kids DEFINITELY can sleep. The cute little muchachos. Nothing else to say there other than... MAN I LOVE THEM.

*rubs eyes again*

So, why the HELL can't I sleep? It's not coffee (can't stand the stuff). It's not Diet Coke (last one was at dinner at 6pm). It's not tea (last one got cold after I had two sips after birthday cake and ice cream tonight for my newly 8 year old son, Anthony). *sigh* THIS is maddening. If anyone out there has any ideas PLEASE let me know.

Alternate uses for $12.00 worth of painter's tape

2006-08-10T16:44:00.000-04:00

Ok... so... I wanted to paint three rooms in my house.

I bought Kils, paint, brushes, rollers and $12.00 worth of painter's tape.

My three year old daughter... and alternate uses for $12.00 worth of painter's tape....

1. Stretch it across the doorway to the bathroom so as to catch those in a real hurry to go pee and hear them use words she isn't supposed to know.
2. Roll some in a ball and play with the cat.
3. Tape the refridgerator door shut so only SHE can have the string cheese.
4. Wrap it around your arm for a cast.
5. Wrap it around the CAT'S arm for a cast.
6. Try to wrap it around the dog and get growled at.
7. Hang signs on the diningroom wall with it.
8. Wrap the vaccum handle with it, "... cause it's broken!"
9. Wrap it around curtains so the light from the sun can come in. And...

10. Did I mention taping the cat?

Still here and kicking... A Summer Update

2006-08-10T16:02:00.000-04:00

Here I am! I'm still here! I've made it through seven and a half weeks of summer vacation with my 8, 6 and 3 year old. I tell ya, I know now why some mammals eat their young!

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my children and have enjoyed playing with them, taking them to the zoo, making forts, playing gamecube, watching cartoons, running through the sprinker, going to the playground and visiting with friends. HOWEVER, the fighting, yelling, whining, screaming, poking and general unruliness of the past several weeks is starting to fray my nerves and turn my usual brown hair gray.

... And people wonder why mothers (and yes those stay-at-home fathers) everywhere look tired. *rolls eyes* Shall I make a list?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adding to our family's excitement though this summer has been the addition of an exchange student from Mexico. A polite boy, the age of 17, named Santos. He has integrated well with our family (the boys love to play gamecube together) and we have enjoyed sharing our home and daily life with him. It will be a sad day when he leaves to be with his permanent host family for the regular school year.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Coming up on Aug 21st is my return to work at a local elementary school. Yes, even para-educators have to go back to school, I am no exception. I love it there and the staff and children have made THIS job seem like no job at all. A rarity in this day and age. So, another year with the kids that I've begun to love as my own... how can I go wrong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The time spent with Santos has made me remember that I want to keep going with my Spanish classes that I dropped last winter. So, like a good girl, I re-registered for the next class and started praying that I'll have the time and fortitude to finish in December. Now for the hard part... finding the darn money to take the class. Ahhhhh.... money... there's a topic a whole post could be devoted to, but I won't bore you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, alas, you have read in encapsulated form my last seven weeks. Sometimes, it's sad that it can fit into so short a space. At any rate, hopefully I will keep up with this site more than I have been. I owe to myself.

Me

Rambling on...

2006-04-20T22:13:00.000-04:00

*Phew* It's been a while since I've been here. Things like kids, work, holidays, gaming (whoa), shopping (grocery - don't get TOO excited out there), cleaning and painting have all taken front row at one time or another and caused me to neglect this space. Hmmmmm....

Today... my kids (boys) had a sleep over at a friends' house. Seems that these other little boys (8 and 6) and in my sons' (6 and 7) classrooms at school. They're from Germany (here for 3 years) and just as cute as buttons. Anyway, for some reason (maybe the recent articles about the 10 year who was kidnapped in Oklahoma) I'm a BIT weirded out about them being where I can't see them. As much as I like my time alone and time with my hubbie (yes, Sweetheart, I know you will read this) I'm having a hard time 'letting go'. *sigh* I mean... what the hell am I going to do when they go to college?

===

Ok... so, I JUST learned that a friend of mine has SNOWBLINDNESS. What in the world is THAT????? All in favor of Spring and a bit of rain... say "Aye".

AYE!

===

Ok... so... being dizzy.

Not dizzy as in no brains... I mean dizzy... as in whirling things and falling over. Seems I've had too much 'dizzy' lately and I need to go get an MRI. Now... at this point, I'm glad that I'm not claustrophobic...

Well, that's about it, really. Kind of a short ending to a long winded amount of nothing.Ram

Yawn

2006-04-09T00:39:00.000-04:00

*Yawn...*

That's really all I have to say. I'm SOOOOOOO tired.

Worked at at 'that' retail establishment again today 3:30 to 10:00. Who the heck wants to buy overpriced merchandise at 10:00 PM????? *sheesh*

You know... I'm not is the mood for this.

*Yawn*

Ah, daylight savings time

2006-04-02T21:54:00.000-04:00

WHAT is the deal with daylight savings time?

WHAT individual in their right mind thinks, "OH, I'll have people set their clocks backward and foreward two times a year. That'll work."

Fall Back - Yep, that's how I remember it. And, it's cool. I get an extra hour of exhaustion induced sleep on the Sunday morning on which it falls. Of course, that rarely REALLY happens since I wake up thinking, "OMG! What time is it? Am I late? Am I early? Where am I supposed to be?"

Spring Forward - Now... THIS sucks. Who the heck LIKES getting up an hour earlier. Certainly not me. Of course, EVERYONE in the house is screwed up on this turnover, including the dogs.

I'm convinced that every OTHER civilized country does NOT do this. Why do we Americans always have to be different. *shakes head*

Anyhoo, I've gotten used to the new time now and things will be fine *I hope* in the morning.

Ciao!

Ellipses

2006-03-27T21:59:00.000-05:00

One last thing for today.

My husband says I overuse ellipses in my writing.

Hmmmmm.

I'll have to mull that one over and see what can be done about it. I'll fit it in next to cleaning up the cat puke and keeping the beagle from waking up the neighbors.

*smile*

I love you too, Dear!

Life Outside Our Office!

2006-03-27T21:34:00.000-05:00

WOW!!!

There really ARE people that live outside my office! I have proof because the dogs bark every time I let them outside... and I KNOW that they can't be barking at the pesky squirrel in our backyard at 9:37 pm. So, there must be at least ONE person outside our office! *Sigh* Sad, really, that I have to think about the lurking next door neighbors as someone worthy of talking to.

Especially the guy behind us...

Mr. I-Work-Midnights-So-Can-You-Keep-Your-Beagle-From-Interrupting-My-Sleep

THIS guy I'm ready to boil in Beezle-Nut Oil. I mean REALLY, how the heck does he expect me to keep a hound dog quiet in the middle of the damn day? What's worse, is that I actually TRY to keep the dog quiet. I relentlessly let the dog in and out in a timely manner in hopes that she'll (her name is Delilah) keep her mouth shut. The dog, on the other hand, thinks this is some sort of warped game that she gets to play.

"Ok Delilah, go pee."

WAG WAG WAG

"Good girl." (Door shuts. As I turn, the dog immediately starts to bark her fool head off. I open the door and shout loudly.) "DELILAH! SHUT UP!" (I slam the door. All stays quiet for 10 or so minutes.)

BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK

*Sigh*

(I open the door again... she comes inside.) *Damn dog.* "Good girl, Delilah. Remember... no barking in the back yard."

WAG WAG WAG

It's like another child that won't listen to me. It'll drive a sane woman to drink heavily (not that I've ever thought of doing that.)

At any rate, between him, my house (I may actually think about Fearless31Girl's suggestion of having a house fire so ServPro will come in and clean up my messes), my kids, work, finances, the relentless [I love this word] driving I do every day to get everything accomplished and my own sanity... I'm ready to call it a day.

Hehe... A Day In the Life... I crack myself up!

Normally, I would only post once a day, but... these thoughts just had to be let it out...

... Or, I'll end up like that crazy squirrel in my back yard in the afternoons.

What's the Scariest Word to a Parent of Kids with Teeth?

2006-03-27T20:22:00.000-05:00

O R T H O D O N T I S T

Yep... it's that word that no parent with teeth-aged children want to here. But, here we are, my husband and I, contemplating an outpouring of 'serious' money to fix our 7 1/2 year old's cross bite.

It's scarey, really. All that money... all those 'adjustments' at the doctor's office. I mean, we're still having issues with the little guys eyes (more on that another time). My husband had braces. He hated them. My plan... to catch weird things with my kids' teeth early so they can be fixed BEFORE they hit middle school.

Sooooo... what now? A 'records' appointment where they'll take molds of my son's teeth and get xrays. A real detailed look at his mouth and how things are coming along in there. $235 worth of detail. *cough*

The ONLY good thing about this right now... at least the doctor is cute.

Tales of a Saturday

2006-03-25T20:44:00.000-05:00

Well, here we are again...

Worked today. I work two jobs; one in retail. I won't say where 'cause it really doesn't matter. What matters, apparently, is that I didn't 'open enough credit app's' this month. What that translates into in retail-talk is that I didn't make the company enough money today to pay my salary... and they're MAD. *sigh* It always amazes me that people really think that you'll be freaked out by talks like the one I had today. "If you don't open an app today, Nancy, you'll have to go see the store manager. You've been 'on the list' for two months now. You really need to open an app."

"On the List"... interesting. I've been on someone's list ever since I was five... for one reason or another. Apparently, the talk was supposed to 'scare' me into processing a charge card for some unsuspecting customer walking through our over-priced, yet perfectly manicured, store.

Had ZERO credit processes today. Guess I just wasn't that scared. *shrugs*

~~~~~~~~~~

Home life has been interesting.

Can't remember if I mentioned my husband getting bit by our dog. Now the poor guy has this infected arm and can't use it for anything... and I mean ANYTHING. The dog (a lab/pitbull mix who's 11 years old) doesn't have the slightest clue about what he did to his owner. My hubbie says he doesn't remember much either. Seems like a lot of money in prescription and office visit copays to have no one remember ANYTHING.

I need to clean the diningroom. I HATE cleaning the diningroom. I hate cleaning. It's such a waste of time. It just gets messed up and you have to clean it again. Anyone with me?

It's almost bedtime for the kids. It's almost bedtime for me. I'm SO tired.

Until next time...

What is it about computers?

2006-03-24T11:49:00.000-05:00

What is it about computers that when you're in a hurry they just won't work? I've been trying repeatedly for 2 hours to get our other desktop to connect to the internet to no avail. It's maddening!

And my husband wants to know why the house doesn't get clean... sheesh! Because I'm fighting COMPUTER/INTERNET fires all morning.

My poor daughter... stuck watching Wonder Pets by herself AGAIN... I'm sad about that. I so want to sit with her and just chill. *sigh*

The Beginning...

2006-03-24T00:56:00.000-05:00

Ahhhh... finally a place to write my thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams and any other crazy idea that happens to flop into my head.

I sit here in the office surrounded by a group of unrelated things... my oldest son's homework, kids board games, my cat (Tiberias), my dog (Delilah), my husband's crazy, old, heavy, gun-metal-grey desk and crayon scribbles on the walls from my 3 year old. It pretty much sums up my life to this point.

Jumbled.

Why start a blog you ask? *plbbb* Who the heck knows... a cheap form of therapy maybe or just an outlet for an over-whelmed mom of three.