Monday, July 02, 2007

MAD AS HELL AND NO ONE TO BITCH TO

How's THAT for a title?! Can you tell it's been one of those evenings where everything that you wanted to go right just.... didn't?

Wanted to spend more time with the kids before they went to bed... didn't.
Wanted to do more laundry and get caught up... didn't.
Wanted to clean the kitchen... didn't.
Wanted to go to the IKEA store... didn't.
Wanted to go to Meijer's... didn't.
Wanted to pick up the living room... didn't.
Wanted to clean out the truck and vacuum... didn't.
Wanted (well, HAD) to clean out the cat box... didn't.
Wanted to clean up after dinner... didn't.
Wanted to take out the garbage... didn't.
Wanted to be in a better mood... won't.
Wanted to want to... don't.
Wanted to be told it will all be better in the morning... wasn't.
Wanted to bitch to a live person... can't.
Wanted to have a good day... didn't.

So, now that I've filled up the screen with, "Woe is me, I gotta poopy diaper" attitude I'll say good-bye and good night in hopes that tomorrow will be better than today.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

We Are Family

So, here we are (from left to right) Lincoln, Brendan, Anthony, Me and Sophia.

The picture was taken at our church's 100th anniversary luncheon in early June.

Ten Ways to Give Your Cat A Nervous Breakdown

10. Remove all clothing from flat surfaces so that they have to sleep in their cat bed.
9. Yell, "Here Kitty, Kitty!" while standing next to the tub as it's filling full of water.
8. Buy a rottweiller.
7. Let six four year olds in the house and tell them the cat loves to play.
6. Apply collar and leash to their neck and yell, "Sit Ooboo, Sit!"
5. Tape a dog barking and replay it on a taperecorder in the house.
4. Buy a laser pointer and let the cat chase the red 'dot' on the floor.
3. Leave open boxes and paperbags all over your house.
2. Buy babydoll dress up clothes and give them to your four year old daughter.
1. Accidentally shut your cat in the dryer and turn it to the fluff cycle.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Muscle Relaxers and a Mother of Three

Now, you're probably saying, "Now THERE'S an interesting title." Or, your at least thinking that the muscle relaxer part sounds like fun.

Muscle relaxers are what my doctor prescribed the other day when I went in to have several things checked out. First, my cholesterol. TOTALLY unrelated to the muscle relaxers but on the list none the less. Second, check to see if there are any lipids (what the heck is a lipid) or some other such arthritic tags in my blood. (I've been having problems with the joints in my hands and shoulders.) Third, check on why I can't get to sleep and why I keep waking up with headaches.

Muscle relaxers. And this is why I paid $15 in a copay. I could get the same affect with a glass of red wine each night and have more fun.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Can You Cheat On Your Dog?

I took a drive over to Ryan and Tom's house tonight. They're getting ready for a yard sale tomorrow and I've finally relinquished my hold on my kids baby clothes long enough to sell them to someone else. So, I dropped off four boxes and two garbage bags of clothes and a six-foot long table to their house around 9:00pm.

Now, Ryan and Tom have this black lab named Compo. He's a drooling, panting, crotch-sniffing ball of tail-wagging fur. You can't help but notice him while you're at the house and he won't leave you alone until he's wiped drool and hair all over your clean clothes. It's like being molested by a really short man in a black fur coat. The problem is when I got home... my beagle, Delilah, was sniffing the hell out of me and giving me this look like, "How COULD you?"

It had just then occurred to me, "Can you cheat on your dog?" I mean, I didn't WANT to cheat on my dog. This other dog just came to me and started molesting me. Does that count? It was unwanted attention from another canine.

I feel so dirty.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Second Shelf From the Top... WAAAAAYYYY In the Back

Ok... so these were my words, slowly said at least three times, to my eight year old after he inquired on whether we had any microwave popcorn.

First time... "Mommy? Do we have any popcorn?" My response: "Yes, second shelf from the top, way in the back."

(He looks on the first shelf under the top cupboard.)

Second time... "SECOND shelf, way in the back, Anthony."

(He looks on the second shelf from the bottom.)

Third time... "S-e-c-o-n-d s-h-e-l-f from the TOP, waaaaayyyy in the back, honey."

His response after finally locating said popcorn, "Oh, thanks."

He's such a cute boy. Reddish-brown, curly hair (the girl-hair he got from his mom - me), stick thin like his dad and smart as a whip (although you might be saying, "Yeah... and what about this popcorn episode?"). But, when it comes to our pantry... the little guy just gets way too confused.

"Why?" you ask in a disinterested voice as you yawn over this entry.

Well, our pantry in done in a weird fashion and one never knows whether the top cupboard is the first shelf or not... (easier to show someone than explain.). AT ANY RATE... (now I'm bored)....

The popcorn is on the second shelf from the top of the second cupboard, waaaaaaay in the back.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Hitchhiker's Thumb

Sooooo.... I shut my thumb in my neighbor's screen door.

Ouch!

Yep, I had my hand in the door frame of the front door and the wind caught the door and WHAM! the tip of my thumb got peeled right back! It hurt like... like... like the tip of my thumb got peeled back. *sigh*

One trip to St. Joseph Mercy's emergency room later and the following happened:

1. Got to read yesterday's front page of the Oakland Press.
2. Met up with Kyle Cameron, a friend of ours (he stood up in our wedding) that we haven't seen in 12 years. He is now working at St. Joseph's as a Medical Technician.
3. Got a tetanus shot. *frowns*
4. Soaked my thumb in Betadine *frowns more because of the stinging feeling*
5. Got thumb bandaged.
6. Won sympathy from my 18, 8, 7 and 4 year old kids.
7. Took two tylenol to ease the throbbing in my thumb.
8. Looks forward to the throbbing in my arm (where I got the tetanus shot) in the morning.

Guess I won't be doing any hardcore gardening for a while.

Moral of the Story: Keep your thumb out of places it doesn't belong.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

FOX cancels DRIVE

And... here I thought we had a hit.

Is it just me or are the execs at FOX totally missing the point of people watching TV? I watch for enjoyment and a chance at seeing my favorite actors or actresses do what they do best. I watch because my real life doesn't always meet my expectations and I need a bit of a boost. I watch because I can.

How can someone say that a show is a dud when they haven't even given the damn thing a chance?!

All the more reason to boycott the crappy TV network (FOX if you haven't already guessed) unless Mr. Fillion comes out with another show the network wants to cancel.

I tell ya... I've HAD it with these nimrods that don't know good TV from a flippin' hole in the ground.

Damn those execs, damn those folks who don't watch DRIVE, damn, damn, damn....

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Here I Go Thinking Again...

So, I'm thinking....

That's usually my first mistake. Thinking that I can think without a license. Thinking gets folks like me in trouble. We plan things, weigh things over, initiate ideas and pretend we're cool and all the while we wreak havoc on the world and leave terror in our wake.

See... it's thinking about thinking that's got me into this mess.