Today started out with me sleeping through my alarm. It moved on to me not being able to find the shirt that I 'really' wanted to wear, forcing me to pick something that made me overly warm most of the day. Things moved along (boys got out the door, daughter made it to the bus stop and I made it (finally) to work) and before long I was done with my work day and sat in my car feeling warm (think back to the shirt above) and disillusioned.
I moved on through my early afternoon by answering a text message wanting to know if a daily walk was still on (provided God didn't rain on our parade) and then headed out to get a soda before coming home and changing into my tennis shoes (think daily walk above). A 30 minute or so walk, much talk back and forth, some crying (on my part) and a dash to the middle school to pick up my oldest son after retrieving my middle son and daughter at the bus stop finished off the better part of the middle to late afternoon. Now, I'm just feeling confused, tired, overwhelmed, sad, a bit angry and a multitude of other emotions that I just can't seem to put my finger on.
My evening will include some form of dinner that I will need to think up, my oldest daughter coming home from her track meet and me trying to negotiate the evening without making anyone cry, get mad, go hungry or just plain fall apart in the process. I believe there is also supposed to be a trip to the music store to pick up my middle son's repaired viola.
I'm mildly numb emotionally. My head hurts as well as my heart. I've been fighting an emotional black hole for many days that seems to be leaving me exhausted and, at this point, seems to have no end in sight.
Well. Aren't I a ray of sunshine?
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