Muscle Relaxers and a Mother of Three

Now, you're probably saying, "Now THERE'S an interesting title." Or, your at least thinking that the muscle relaxer part sounds like fun.

Muscle relaxers are what my doctor prescribed the other day when I went in to have several things checked out. First, my cholesterol. TOTALLY unrelated to the muscle relaxers but on the list none the less. Second, check to see if there are any lipids (what the heck is a lipid) or some other such arthritic tags in my blood. (I've been having problems with the joints in my hands and shoulders.) Third, check on why I can't get to sleep and why I keep waking up with headaches.

Muscle relaxers. And this is why I paid $15 in a copay. I could get the same affect with a glass of red wine each night and have more fun.

Can You Cheat On Your Dog?

I took a drive over to Ryan and Tom's house tonight. They're getting ready for a yard sale tomorrow and I've finally relinquished my hold on my kids baby clothes long enough to sell them to someone else. So, I dropped off four boxes and two garbage bags of clothes and a six-foot long table to their house around 9:00pm.

Now, Ryan and Tom have this black lab named Compo. He's a drooling, panting, crotch-sniffing ball of tail-wagging fur. You can't help but notice him while you're at the house and he won't leave you alone until he's wiped drool and hair all over your clean clothes. It's like being molested by a really short man in a black fur coat. The problem is when I got home... my beagle, Delilah, was sniffing the hell out of me and giving me this look like, "How COULD you?"

It had just then occurred to me, "Can you cheat on your dog?" I mean, I didn't WANT to cheat on my dog. This other dog just came to me and started molesting me. Does that count? It was unwanted attention from another canine.

I feel so dirty.

Second Shelf From the Top... WAAAAAYYYY In the Back

Ok... so these were my words, slowly said at least three times, to my eight year old after he inquired on whether we had any microwave popcorn.

First time... "Mommy? Do we have any popcorn?" My response: "Yes, second shelf from the top, way in the back."

(He looks on the first shelf under the top cupboard.)

Second time... "SECOND shelf, way in the back, Anthony."

(He looks on the second shelf from the bottom.)

Third time... "S-e-c-o-n-d s-h-e-l-f from the TOP, waaaaayyyy in the back, honey."

His response after finally locating said popcorn, "Oh, thanks."

He's such a cute boy. Reddish-brown, curly hair (the girl-hair he got from his mom - me), stick thin like his dad and smart as a whip (although you might be saying, "Yeah... and what about this popcorn episode?"). But, when it comes to our pantry... the little guy just gets way too confused.

"Why?" you ask in a disinterested voice as you yawn over this entry.

Well, our pantry in done in a weird fashion and one never knows whether the top cupboard is the first shelf or not... (easier to show someone than explain.). AT ANY RATE... (now I'm bored)....

The popcorn is on the second shelf from the top of the second cupboard, waaaaaaay in the back.

Hitchhiker's Thumb

Sooooo.... I shut my thumb in my neighbor's screen door.

Ouch!

Yep, I had my hand in the door frame of the front door and the wind caught the door and WHAM! the tip of my thumb got peeled right back! It hurt like... like... like the tip of my thumb got peeled back. *sigh*

One trip to St. Joseph Mercy's emergency room later and the following happened:

1. Got to read yesterday's front page of the Oakland Press.
2. Met up with Kyle Cameron, a friend of ours (he stood up in our wedding) that we haven't seen in 12 years. He is now working at St. Joseph's as a Medical Technician.
3. Got a tetanus shot. *frowns*
4. Soaked my thumb in Betadine *frowns more because of the stinging feeling*
5. Got thumb bandaged.
6. Won sympathy from my 18, 8, 7 and 4 year old kids.
7. Took two tylenol to ease the throbbing in my thumb.
8. Looks forward to the throbbing in my arm (where I got the tetanus shot) in the morning.

Guess I won't be doing any hardcore gardening for a while.

Moral of the Story: Keep your thumb out of places it doesn't belong.

FOX cancels DRIVE

And... here I thought we had a hit.

Is it just me or are the execs at FOX totally missing the point of people watching TV? I watch for enjoyment and a chance at seeing my favorite actors or actresses do what they do best. I watch because my real life doesn't always meet my expectations and I need a bit of a boost. I watch because I can.

How can someone say that a show is a dud when they haven't even given the damn thing a chance?!

All the more reason to boycott the crappy TV network (FOX if you haven't already guessed) unless Mr. Fillion comes out with another show the network wants to cancel.

I tell ya... I've HAD it with these nimrods that don't know good TV from a flippin' hole in the ground.

Damn those execs, damn those folks who don't watch DRIVE, damn, damn, damn....

Here I Go Thinking Again...

So, I'm thinking....

That's usually my first mistake. Thinking that I can think without a license. Thinking gets folks like me in trouble. We plan things, weigh things over, initiate ideas and pretend we're cool and all the while we wreak havoc on the world and leave terror in our wake.

See... it's thinking about thinking that's got me into this mess.

Top Ten Uses for Green Bean Casserole

10. Use as part of neighbor kids' club initiation. Tell prospective club members it's ground squirrel.
9. Use as paste for building toothpick houses
8. Use for practical jokes. Spoon healthy amount of beans into paper lunch sack. Set on enemy's porch, light bag, ring doorbell... RUN!
7. Makes great grout when re-tiling bathroom floor. (Note: Make sure bathroom decor matches green shade of beans.)
6. Serves as excellent dog food in a pinch.
5. Use as wallpaper stripper. Consistency makes application easy.
4. Great way to keep children quiet during Thanksgiving Dinner. Lips stick together because of the cream of mushroom soup.
3. Acts as a substitute for playdough, and it's easier to get out of carpets.
2. Keeps grandma busy during the holidays and out of the casinos.
1. Use as alternative to green, acidsplit when filming 'Slither 2'.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Ok, today is the day where everyone (in the US at least) is allowed to dress up as someone or something different and act crazy, obtain free candy and scare the begeezes out of little kids without fear of reprisal.

I, personally, opted for the non-scarey costume of a Renaissance Wench this morning in my 1st grader's classroom. This past Sunday evening and Monday morning I was a happy pumpkin.

My boys decided on Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. My daughter fascillated from ballerina, to fairy, to princess, to dragon, to Barbie and, finally, back to dragon again. *It's a woman's right to change her mind... even if it DOES make her mother gray in the process*

My husband decided to dress up as a dad (how original). Our exchange student decided on a teenager with a broken leg (what is UP with the older men in the family?).

Trick or Treating starts at 6pm at my parents house, ends there at 7pm and picks up again at my in-laws. It's an all-evening event that will tire everyone out and result in TONS of candy that will send the family into a sugar high that will last until Christmas!

So... at this point... I go with the flow and think orange until tomorrow morning wakes us and November begins full throttle.

Pictures soon to follow....

It's SUNDAY... Anyone see monkeys near me?

So... it's Sunday. SUNDAY. And, once again I haven't TOUCHED my homework for my Spanish class.

"So?" you say.

Sooooooo, I have an exam tomorrow over the next chapter; sixty some verbs to conjugate, a bucket-load of vocabulary words and sentence structure to remember and I HAVEN'T STUDIED! Now, normally, having already received a Bachelor of Science degree several years prior to this I would say, "Bleh," and move on. But, THIS class I want to pass with flying colors.

But, it's SUNDAY! *sigh*

Of course, today we're headed out to lunch with my parents, then out to the Franklin Cider Mill with Ryan, Tom, Ryan's mom and her two exchange students (see Ryan's blog, appropriately entitled http://rantingsofanewzealandwannabe.blogspot.com) and then dinner with said group somewhere around 6'ish. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE doing things with them and I'm the one who invited everyone down for dinner. So, that really isn't the issue.

The issue is that it's SUNDAY, for Christmas sake and I have a mountain of homework the size of Mexico! (Had to put that in there for Santos' sake.)

Okay... focus, focus, focus.

Maybe this will all work out in the end. Maybe I'll have time to get things done. Maybe I can do my lab work tomorrow morning while everyone is in school. Maybe I'll get time to study at school before the test. Maybe I'll do REALLY well on the test and this post will all be for naught...

... And maybe monkeys will fly out of my butt.

Your Brain is a Terrible Thing to Lose

So... they say your mind is the first thing to go. Apparently, my mind has already left and found some other unsuspecting human to reside in leaving me entirely on my own... literally.

Another birthday party that one of my sons were supposed to attend slipped my mind again today. The mom, bless her heart, called me on my cell and asked where Anthony was. *phew* Luckily Kroger is only a mile and a half from Zap Zone where the party was being held for several fiesty 8 year old boys.

Last week, it was the 'birthday party of the year' that Brendan missed. His friend Ben had invited him and it totally slipped my mind. *sigh* Brendan will need years of therapy at 29 to get over THAT one.

What's next? My anniversary? My OWN birthday? Do I need more Ginko Biloba in my life? Less stress? More help? SEVERAL calendars that flash neon in my house and in the truck? WHAT will help me remember?

I can't seem to recall.

Holy Orthopedists, Batman!

So, most of September was a blur. Somewhere between my usual routine of taking my kids to school and practices, fixing dinner, scheduling doctors appointments and studying for my Spanish class my husband managed to break his right arm and my 'exchange' son, Santos, managed to break his lower left leg.

Now, I KNOW you're thinking, "What the...?" or "Huh?" or "So?" However, for those who would like the details, please see below.

Ok, first the husband. For sake of space, he was riding his bicycle (mountain bike) one evening around 8:30pm downtown and got cut off by a car as he was about to cross the street. He locked up the front breaks, flipped over the handlebars and came down squarely on both hands; he broke the radius bone in his right arm and jammed the wrist and elbow of the other arm.

Second, Santos. HE was tackled playing football for his highschool JV team and got his leg broke. *sigh* Welcome to the 'American experience' and our medical system. Needless to say, he's ok but in a cast for the next 6 to 8 weeks. *Guess we'll have to turn those crutches into skis.*

At any rate, my life is about as complicated as I can take. I love my family, biological and not, but I need a frickin' break. Anyone got any ideas?

9/11 and Sherry Ann Bordeaux

Today is a day that many will not soon forget.

I was still working full time on September 11, 2001 and in the middle of my daily commute to Troy, MI. I had the radio on, flipping channels as I usually do. This day, I happened to decide on the local talk radio station. What I heard as I pulled in the parking lot of my seven story office building shocked me.

The World Trade Center had been hit by not one, but two airplanes... two commercial airliners packed with travelers of all races, creeds, colors, ages and beliefs. The World Trade Center buildings... 110 floors each, filled to the brim with people starting their day were burning. Two gaping holes were visible mid-way up and smoke was pouring from each. My heart sank.

I no sooner got into the office when my husband called me and asked if I heard the news.

"Yes, Honey... I have," I said.

"Nancy... there were people on those planes... in those buildings," he whispered, barely able to speak.

"I know, Honey... I know," I replied in the same whisper. I didn't know what to say. I didn't really know what to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SHERRY ANN BORDEAUX was born and raised in Jersey City, New Jersey. She was a member of the honor society and the basketball and bowling teams in high school. Her sister, Cynthia Lewis remembers her as someone who never missed a day of school. "She was a straight-A student." After highschool, Sherry graduated from St. Peter's College in Jersey City and began working as an accountant for Fiduciary Trust. She was in her office on the 90th floor of Tower Two when the second hijacked passenger jet hit the floors below. She had left a phone message after the first jet hit the other tower.

"She called us at 8:48 and said, 'There's been an explosion, I'll call you later,'" Lewis said. "We were home and watching it on TV. We just didn't hear the phone."

Sherry shared a house with her mother, brother, sister and nephews in Jersey City, New Jersey. These days the house is emptier. She is no longer around to make special dishes that she learned from watching "Emeril Live" on the Food Network, or to take her nephews - Marquise Lewis, 10, and Justin Lewis, 3 - out to dinner or the movies.

Now they only have memories of her.

After reading bits of information on Sherry I imagine she was vivacious woman with hopes and dreams just like everyone else in the world. Her family adored her... cherished her. They cling to memories of a summer reunion in 2001 where siblings and cousins and countless other extended family members went to Fayettville, N.C., in July and spent a week together.

I never met Sherry, although I believe I would have liked her from the moment we met. I'll never know her personally... never get the chance. But, what I DO know is that she'll be missed by many. She'll be missed by the world and this world will be a lesser place because Sherry wasn't around to make it just that much brighter. She was only 38 years old.

Today, I ask those that might have known Sherry to post here, on my blog, anything you knew about Sherry. Let those around the world know what a wonderful person was taken from us. Have her memory live on in script for a bit longer.

May all those who were killed on this day five years ago be remembered, celebrated and held in high esteem. God Bless them all.

And the Teachers ARE....

Ms. Ingoglia for my 3rd grader and Ms. Grunewald for my 1st grader.

The wait has ended...

... Let the learning begin!

Things That Make You Go.... Hmmmmmm

Ok... so... Arts, Beats and Eats.

For those of you who live in the Detroit Metropolitan area, "Arts, Beats and Eats" doesn't mean some curbside painter wacking people with a stick while eating a corndog. It actually means an honest to goodness 'good time in downtown Pontiac' (if that can actually be had) eating, drinking, buying and riding carnival rides. AB&E (as I will call it henceforth) was our outting for today with the kids (yes, you CAN take kids there).

It's an annual outting, actually. Every Labor Day weekend Linc and I take the kids to AB&E and spend an enormous amount of money eating, riding and buying glow-in-the-dark sticks for the kids. Every year the kids whine because they can't go on anymore rides, their tired, their hungry or they just want to see their parents pull their hair out among 10,000 people in a cramped three-block radius. Every year we either sweat, freeze or get rained on. Every year we go back because we think we know what we did wrong THIS year. *sigh* It's like a study on Pavlov's dog.

However, I must say that THIS year things went mighty well. The weather was cool and breezy and we had enough money to keep the kids satisfied without us going broke in the process. Ah, commercialism. Anyway, by 4pm the kids were beat and getting hungry. Linc stayed downtown to watch some concerts and I came home with the kids, cooked dinner and generally 'hung out' until bedtime.

Now... during that 'hanging out' period....

Did I ever tell you that I'm a closet Star Trek Junkie? *sigh* Probably not. I don't know too many 40-Mother-of-three-closet-star-trek-junkies out there. We're few and far between not to mention embarrassed that we actually know who Jonathan Archer is and can't wait until Paramount Pictures produces another flippin' ST movie (there are 10 you know).

At any rate, my husband (a 33 year old ST junkie) and I run a Star Trek play by email game (now, I KNOW you're thinking... "Did she HAVE to go here?") called Liberty Fleet. The game is fun primarily because I can write a character that is totally unlike myself and lose myself in fantasy land without ending up in an mental institution. The problem, is that in running the game you end up spending a great deal of time working on promoting, editing, and playing the game for FREE. Yes, I said FREE... I do not get paid for my editing of writing submissions (posts), my counseling sessions with young writers who have NO clue where to begin and those few and far between (you KNOW who you are) who can't spell worth a POOP when they write more than three words in a row. However, I enjoy reading the entries to our crazy storylines and sometimes wish that I could actually BE the captain that I write (might be a little hard though, considering I write a man).

HOWEVER, this new storyline, an 'alternate timeline' kind of deal (something from the future gets left in the past so it changes everyones future kinda thing) is bringing out the looneys! Pure evil, I'm telling you! I can't believe some of the stuff that I'm reading... it's bizarre. Torture, killing, maming, sex (rape, bisexuality) and don't forget just plain ole anger.

*SHEESH*

People, people, people. Let's think about this SHALL we? I mean, such angry folk are running around with laptops in hand. *shakes head* It amazes even I. Who knew that such folk walked the earth taking their kindergardeners to school each morning and fixing meatloaf for dinner. Now, to tell the truth that's a bit harsh... a lot of our writers are college age kids that love Star Trek (ST) and love to write stories. I doubt that most even know what meatloaf is, let alone know how to fix it for dinner.

All in all today was a success. Tomorrow is Labor Day which means an annual trip to my in-laws for dinner and visiting. This year it also means that our exchange student has football practice (someone should give that coach a piece of my mind) from 5pm to whenever. *sigh* I'm hoping that whoever thought a practice on Labor Day was necessary, will be locked up by the Labor Day police and the key thrown away.

... things that make you go, hmmmmmm.

Mommy.... Who Is My Teacher?

Okay... so, I've been asked this question by my 3rd grader and 1st grader every day for the past week now. They wait by the mailbox like little vultures... hoping that letters from their new teachers for this year will drop out and smack them on the face like little fly swatters.

Have the letters come? NO

WHEN does school start? TUESDAY

WHAT is TODAY? WEDNESDAY before TUESDAY

When I asked their elementary school's secretary at the Welcome Back Meeting for employees of the district -- it's nice to be a parent AND an employee -- when the letters were coming she promptly replied that they would be mailed tomorrow. I politely asked if I could find out over the phone early and she even MORE politely told me absolutely not.

NOTE: So, does the security of the nation depend on the information about my kids' teachers for this year? Will terrorists swoop down on my school district if the names are given out over the phone early? I mean, COME ON!!!

So, I think to myself....

TOMORROW!? Are they farking MAD? The THURSDAY before TUESDAY they are sending out letters containing the most important answer to the most important question for BOTH of my children at this time in their little lives?

I ask again... Are they farking MAD??????

*sigh*

Ok... so, now I have to explain that the letters will probably come either Friday or Saturday. My 6 year old will say, "What if they don't?" And I'll answer, "Then we go to school on Tuesday and ask someone." And he'll say, "I'm not going to school unless I know who my teacher is. I mean, HOW will I KNOW what room I'm in? HOW will I KNOW who's in my class?" and the questions will continue until the dye-job that I spent $94 on at the salon is completely gone and my eyes are crossed permanently. At that point my 8 year old will sigh and say something like, "Well, I have a one in three chance that I'll get Mrs. Ellison." and then nothing else will come out of his mouth until Tuesday.

And, I'll think...

... Can we go back to June 17th? Life was much easy then....

Two of the Men In my Life

Now... here are the cutest two faces I've ever seen... and two of the four men currently in my life (my husband and our exchange son being the other two). This was taken on the spur of the moment when the two of them were goofing around with one another. I couldn't have asked for a better pic.

Ummmmmmmmmm... bridge?

Ok, so, the kids and I finished reading 'Harry Potter: The Order of the Phoenix' the other night. (I KNOW you're thinking, *Where the HELL has SHE been? That's been out for AGES!*, but I've got a REALLY good reason for being behind the times.

I'm a mom.

P-Sha you say? Well, try doing ANYTHING with three kids under the age of 8 around. Even going to the frikkin bathroom is a momumental activity... so, being caught up with the Harry Potter groupies just hasn't been in my cards. Now, that isn't to say I haven't tried. I've led several evenings of reading using bribery as a key tool to obtain permission to read more than one chapter at a time. I mean, all's fair in reading and war and I want to WIN!

So... this mom thing (even though I digress from Harry and Umbridge at the moment) can really cut into your personal reading time. I mean, I have issues reading the cake box without one of my little darlings yelling, "MOOOOOOMMY!" and me having to divert my attention to the latest catastrophe of the hour. Which usually includes things like, butt wiping, spill containing, TV channel turning, Oobi watching, bug catching, bug smashing, bug funerals, marker closing, wall washing, bath or shower giving, puddle-jumping, toilet unclogging (a whole roll of Dixie Cups will wreak havoc on your plumbing), cricket catching, swing pushing and various other activities that I get called upon to participate in throughout the day.

Of course, don't get me wrong... I LOVE being home with my kids. My husband has offered several times to stay at home and be the Stay-at-Home parent and I've said, "No... that's okay." I'm just stating that my me-time is somewhat limited.

Anyway, back to the book...

All I have to say is that J.K. Rowling is a bit... yeah a BIT disturbed! Who the hell comes up with a quill that when you write with it, the words are written in your own blood from the back of your hand??? *shudders repeatedly* And, this is a KIDS book? What kind of kids...?

*Wait, don't answer that question.*

Let's all face it, this Umbridge woman is SO evil she makes Snape look like Barney (somehow picturing the potions teacher as a large, purple dinosaur makes me giggle). I mean, she's the kind that if she drove a car you'd want it key'd or the tires popped. What would be the equivalent for a broom? The handle gets carved on or the bristles get pulled out?

And Harry... I know he's been manipulated by He-Who-Could-Not-Be-Named at this point but, let's get things straight... THIS woman is as evil as they come (unless you want to count my last semester Spanish professor, Sra. Gifford) and he should have reported her fat butt when things first started. Or AT LEAST told Hermione.... she can solve anything. She's the MacGyver of Hogwarts. Give her a bit of chewing gum and a raffle ticket and she could take on Umbrige with one hand tied behind her back!

Anyway, again I digress....

I just hope that the next book will find someone even MORE gastly to take the place of the portly, google-eyed prof. I need a change of scenery.

(And btw... I KNOW who croaks in that one.)

*sigh*

Say 'YES' to splotches...

1. Family attends BBQ for ASSE Exchange Students... children play in God knows what kind of outdoor plants and eat goodness knows what kind of food while in attendance.

2. Family returns home tired, full and socially satisfied.

3. Family wakes up on Saturday morning to find 30% of 6 1/2 year old son's body covered in red, raised splotchy patches. Son isn't itching... still wants to go to golf lessons with older brother and grandpa. Parents agree.

4. 6 1/2 year old son comes home later (much more golf savvy) and stays splotch-free all afternoon and early evening after 24 hour dose of Claritin.

5. Mom and Dad drop off children at sitter's for evening of adult-based fun.

6. Mom and Dad pick up children. 6 1/2 year old son has 80% of his body covered in red, raised splotchy patches.

7. Mother calls pediatrician (again), runs out to buy Benadryl while dad gives son Aveeno bath in luke-warm water.

8. Mom comes home, gives son Benadryl, mom and dad put son to bed.

Moral of story... red, raised splotches come to those who wait.

New Addition to the Simoni Family

Well... this is the easiest way to have a child...

Exchange Student

Yep, Santos, our temporary exchange student will be staying with us for the entire upcoming school year. Linc and I are thrilled. The kids are thrilled. We hope that Santos is thrilled as well.

Now... OMG... I'm the mother of the 17 year old male! *gulp* Someone help!

A Twist on a Favorite

Now, for all you Harry Potter fans out there... and I KNOW you're out there... ever tried watching the movie in a dubbed over version? Like... Spanish, for instance?

Weeeeeellllllll, gives one a TOTALLY new perspective on having an exchange student and what they go through when they come into this country for a year. HOLY MOLY... I think I might have caught every eighth word and... that's even having seen the movie in English two previous times before! My kids, who didn't seem to care, ate up the movie (we put them to bed before the REALLY scarey parts) and didn't seem to notice a thing. Hehe....

Now if I could only READ the Harry Potter series in Spanish.